Ghort’s Law of Contradictory Asymetric Dressing Protocol holds that a person’s preferred state of public dress (i.e. the clothes that one wears outside of the house or inside the house when other persons are visiting) must consist of, at minimum, one item that covers the full lenth of of each of two appendages of same type and one item that covers less than half of each of two appendages of same type. In other words NONE OF THOSE GODDAMN CAPRI PANTS.