Summary of my Oracle Training CD:
“With Oracle9i, you can fuck a duck using the FUCK_DUCK function. The Oracle9i FUCK_DUCK function is used to a fuck a duck and returns the value of the fucked duck in the format that you specify, in Oracle9i.”
This is accompanied by a Windows 3.1-quality diagram depicting a duck, a green arrow, and an enormous grey cylinder with the word “database” next to it.
Following is an interactive slide where I am forced to type something like this:
SELECT duck_date, FUCK_DUCK(duck_date,’fmDDMMYY’)
FROM duck_table;
There are about 500 of these.
Every once in a while they mix things up and throw in a little quiz just to make sure I’m paying attention:
Identify the function that fucks a duck:
A – FUCK_DUCK
B – LOOSE_GOOSE
C – DADDY_LONGSHANKS
D – RED_GLOWING